Act II – The Project that Ate My Summer and My Blog
Act II (Read Act I here.)
It’s the end of August. The man is measuring the same 2X4 over and over again. The woman is lying on the chaise lounge gazing at the half-built studio. It’s hot and humid.
Him: What huh?
Her: Does the studio look tall?
Her: Weird. It’s bigger than I thought it would be. Can we go this big without a permit? You checked the building code, right?
Him: I used the info you gave me.
Her: But that was for Washington, not Oregon.
Him: Why would you give me the Washington building code? (Gesturing going on.)
Her: Because it’s all I could find. I figured it would be sorta similar. Why didn’t you check? Why would you rely on me?
Him: You’re the professional Googler. You know everything.
Her: You’re the builder.
Him: It’ll be fine. Just don’t tell anyone.
Her: Who would I tell?
Him: I’m going to Home Depot for nails.
It’s the next day. The man is measuring the same 2X4 over and over again. The woman is lying on the chaise lounge gazing at the half-built studio. It’s hot and humid.
Him: Why would I watch them?
Her: So you don’t have to re-invent the wheel.
Him: I like figuring out things on my own.
Her: It will take us forever if we have to figure out every damn thing ourselves. That’s ridiculous.
Him: Then you watch them.
Her: I did but I don’t know what they’re talking about. What’s a soffit? What’s a sill? What’s a gable? What’s an outrigger? Did you figure out the pitch of the roof? All the men in the videos are really into pitch. Also, did you know there’s a geometry formula to estimate the length of the rafters?
Him: I hate math. I’ll just wing it.
Her: That’s so typical.
Her: We need an overhang for the door so I don’t get wet when it rains.
Him: No overhang, just get in and out fast. I’m going to Home Depot for nails.
It’s the next day. The man is measuring the same 2X4 over and over again. The woman is standing in the studio looking out the window. She looks concerned. It’s hot and humid.
Him: You’re not allowed to say uh oh.
Her: The neighbors can see in this window. How did that happen? I need privacy. The studio needs to move forward five feet. Is that possible?
Him: Just put up some sheers.
Her: I’m not that kind of woman. Can we build a taller fence?
Him: I just built that fence last year. Anyway, a 15-foot fence would be weird. She can only see us if she’s upstairs in that one room. What is that room?
Her: It’s her doll memorial room. It’s got hundreds of creepy dolls in beds, in cribs, in strollers… My mom would say, “She’s one of those people.” She’s probably already got a telescope in the window. This is disturbing.
Him: Plant a tree. I’m going to Home Depot
Her: I know…for nails.
To be continued.